Monday, March 23, 2015

2 years living without blogging

I can't believe last time i blogged was on 2013. You know, so many things happened this pass 2 years, until i realize that i still have this blog. Been trying many times to be logged in, since i forget which email i signed for this blog #silly.

Well you might be really shocked by the news that i will wrote here. Yeah, i know i will not posted every details that you missed since last 2 years because it will takes another next 2 years to write :'p
But, this is will be my first post for my really personal life.

These day, i'm pregnant, 8 months already. In doctor prediction, this is supposed to be my 34 weeks pregnancy. Did i married with my boyfie? The answers is NO.
Then? Yeah, my silly, stupid, foolish self which bring me to this situation.
I've almost 2 years have a relationship with my boyfriend ( or if i could say my baby's father ) until last August, i have late period. I have bad feeling about that, since i never been late for the period time.
Then, i have my own self to take pregnancy test in the next month ( still waiting week by week to have period, but it not come yet ). And guest what, i am positively pregnant.
That's the worst day in my life, ever! Knowing that i'm pregnant on that age ( 24 yo ) without married certificate, and hell yeah, i lived in this traditionally Indonesia. That was the taboo things here.
Well it might be no problem if in the next few months we ( read : me and my baby's father ) married, since in Bali, it's such as a "normal" things ( please blame western tradition which have so many influence to Balinese tradition ).
But, from the day i knew i'm pregnant, until i decided to go to the doctor for make sure, my baby's father didn't believe that i'm pregnant.
That day, 18th September 2014 was the day we went to the doctor for the first time. I hear my baby's heart beat. The baby is 2 months already, so she/he have a heart and it works already.
Finally, my baby's father trust that i'm pregnant. He start to promise me a lot of things. Marriage and everything. But, in the journey, right after both of our parents know about my pregnancy ( in the early October ), all things went miserable.
Yes, all was miserable including my life. It starts from his mother, she cursing me many times by her words which is hurt me so damn much. Then, i know something bad about my boyfriend.
HE CHEATED ME A THOUSAND TIMES WITH A THOUSAND BITCHES ( yes, BITCHES, seriously. i could prove everything i said in this post ) which i never know before. Life curse me now, yes?
That's the reason that i finally decided to postponed my wedding. Actually, we already planned our wedding for this year, last January.
After know all of his betrayal, how can i continuously my wedding? Do you will do the same thing if you in my position?  
His parents do the same things to me, they promise me many things but at the end, they doesn't prove even one of they own words. Silly me? Poor them? Maybe yes for both.

So, if i could count, it's been 4 months i never see him ( my baby's father ) only connected once or twice in a week but always ended with fighting. I could live till this far without him. My baby still grow up healthy in my tummy. It just because the mercy of GOD for me and my baby. Not because the guy that doesn't deserve to be the father of my baby. Nor because his/her grandparents money. It's pure because of GOD wants to. GOD will have a good plan for me and my baby. She/He is my everything.. I still doubt that my baby is boy or girl, but doctor prediction is girl. Well i will be really happy if my baby is a girl, because i could share anything with her if she's already be a teenager. But, it's ok too if he's boy, for sure.

I am promise will update this blog more often. Will update about my pregnancy since this is my virtual diary.
Well, actually i am more often to share in my private path.
But, i miss this blog too, so i will try to share a little bit my time for this blog.
Oh ya, if my doctor prediction not wrong, i will deliver my baby on 1st of May, please pray for this ya..

I do hope my miserable story could give you all guys a lesson, so you will not ruin your beautiful life.
Regretting always comes at the end, so don't waste your time with someone that don't deserve to.
Life is too short, live it happily, and blaaaaaah.

Last, my preggie picture :')

My 6 month pregnancy

Chieliciouz-A mom to be

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