Friday, April 1, 2011

don't know who would hear my heart voice

Oh my! it's been along long time ago ya, gw ga ngeblog.. fuih, at this time, i feel i have to bloggin.. because as i write on the top, i don't know "siapa lagi" would hear my d*mn heart voice.. *sigh
gw ngerasa bulan maret ini beraaaat banget.. pertama kalinya gw ultah "semu" banget *pinjem kata2nya dia*.. tau knapa? ini semua karena PJ.. yaa, dia yang ku cinta..
gw jujur masih sayaaang banget sama si inisial PJ ini..dan entah kenapa, suatu malam di bulan maret, em, subuh tepatnya kita smsan dan, dia ngajak balikan..
it's kind a feeling earth changed into heaven, you know?! he asked me to make a relationship (again), after he broke it up last time. dan seketika itu gw ngerasa "this's is my march" dan, yeah, kita jalanin hari2 kita dengan LDR yang bahagia.. tanpa ada berantem2.. Gw ngerasa dy bener2 menepati janjinya, dia berubah jadi lebih baik dari sebelumnya..
Tapi entah setan mana yang merasuki hatinya, dipertengahan maret, dia mlh pengen kita putus.. dan kali ini hati gw bener2 hancur.. 2x disakitin sama dia..
yeah i know, i'm the stupid one. maaaany ppl said it to me. but love always do the stupid things, right? that's why they called "love is blind" ..
and the stupid-est one is his argument about our LDR.. d*mn! he knows already, we are separately loooong distance.. between jakarta and bali.. which is soooo far awaaaaaaay..
HE KNEW IT ALREADY.
ah, bener2 ga ngerti sama cowo yg satu ini..
yang jelas, dia bener2 sudah mengobrak-abrik hati gueee..
What a lovely march, isn't? :'(
i have no boyfriend on my birthday, and my heart is half already.. oh myy!
Dan tiap gw curhat sama orang2 disekeliling gw, mereka pasti nyalahin gw..
Kenapa lo jatuh dilubang yang sama, kenapa lo percaya sama dia, kenapa lo tetep sayang sama dia..
pertanyaan itu slalu dipertanyakan sama temen2 gw.. oh, shit! sampe sekarangun jawaban gw tetep sama..
karena gw sayang sama diaaaa.. and i trully hated my feelings..
Sampe detik ini gw pun masih sayang sama dia, even nyakitin banget rasanyaaa..
BRB, i have to finish it anyway.. gw lagi dikantor dan, bos2pun sudah datang, mari bekerjaaaa..
i'll continuing these story if possible.. and yeah, if i ready with this pain..

Semoga akan kudapati hati yg tulus mencintaiku, someday..

xoxo,
chieliciouz

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